What kind of life do you want? For me it’s trying to be proactive, not allowing precious opportunities to pass and taking risks. It’s tough sometimes but it’s doable- that’s the essence of this article.
There is so much fear in life which prevents us from taking huge boundless steps, which keeps us stagnant and stuck in ‘candy mud’ (that was homage to my little girl) – quicksand if you prefer.
So many people wonder why their therapeutic growth has halted, or wonder why “I have been going to this therapist for so long and he/she just didn’t help me (fix me, cure me)!” This is a common theme I hear frequently. When I hear people say that their therapist isn’t helping them, I think 2 things: Either the therapist isn’t helping them, or the client/patient isn’t doing the work. When I delve in deeper to find out the barrier, I find that the client’s/patient’s fear is the hurdle to doing the work.
What is the work? After long discussions with my wife, Jenniffer who is a talented psychologist, I think the real work comes from being bold, scared and brave all at the same time. Think of yourself being bold enough to be standing at the edge of a diving board 50 feet off the ground over a body of water that you quite can’t tell how deep it is. You stand there scared, contemplating the jump and wondering: Am I going to drown? Do I remember how to swim? Once I land, will I be able to get out? Will it hurt? These are absolutely valid and normal fears and probably the same fears we face when a growth opportunity presents itself- just as if you were overcome by fear when asked to face your truths in a therapeutic environment (stepping right up to the edge of the board). All too often, people back off of that diving board and climb down the stairs wondering why they aren’t getting any better?
I have learned two things:
There is no growth without fear AND there is no growth in complacency
Real moments of growth come from taking a brave leap of faith off that proverbial diving board, despite being scared, knowing with bold confidence that you can swim.
This is my goal and conscious choice.